lonely

My first ever ‘solo record’ that was the catalyst for making a lot more records over the coming years!

Thank you for your support! ♥

Lyrics

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My Only Sunshine Will Fade

if you met me
for the first time now
what would you think?
if this canvas
handed you a pen
what would you ink?

sometimes i cant remember
the start, middle or end
but maybe i don’t want to
walk that avenue again

i don’t think that anybody truly cares
wait until the headlines reappear
‘my only sunshine will fade’
..i hear them say
when they’re not making fun of me

i’m inviting everyone with lungs
to listen
we all wear our heart upon our sleeves
but i sing about it

sometimes i can’t remember
the start, middle or end

piece by piece i see
tiny parts of me
littered in this beauty scene

Don't Let Go

she puts on her make-up
and hopes he wont wake up
the secrets are better when they last forever
her spine is so heavy
from making her body lie
the closet of colours and withering flowers
the butterfly graves
the sparks that she saved
oh her eyes are so heavy
so who can rescue her?

‘cause all her smiles are fading like the romance
little ballerina lost at the dance
seems her heart is putting up a new fence
and she says…

‘don’t let go, it’s not over
my only home is your shoulder’

its a battle zone
in her veins, in her bones
‘cause all the stories spill is the way she can’t feel
you can tell she’ll collide if you look into her eyes
she’s touching his skin
through the copper and tin barricade
that she made ‘cause she felt so afraid
and all her blood will rush
this just can’t be lust.

sorry darling
you mean the world to me i’m sorry darling
you mean the world to me so..

she puts on her makeup she hopes that he wakes up
the secrets are better when it’s them together
her spine is so heavy from making her feel alive

Save Me

close my eyes
just to turn you on
i’ll make mistakes
just to hear the right answers
from your candy-floss tongue

i’ll buy a drink ‘cause you’re waiting too
i’ll start a race with every boy in this room
for your ‘come to bed’ eyes

just tonight make me feel i’m alive

you know i would drive you crazy
but you’re so tangled in the stories
and no one can save me
tonight, i played my role so perfect
in your eyes will i ever be ‘worth it’?
so won’t you please save me?

i’ll walk you home
if you want company
i’ll dress like boys
from your favourite magazines
just to show you i’ll try
(you’ll see me try and then you’ll fall)

i’ll frequent places
that you will attend
i’ll make some notes
as you’re getting eyes/ice from bartenders
and passer-bys

i’m a blank page
but you’ve drawn lines where ‘x’s should have been

Pristine

tear tracks on magazines
impossible remedies
and this ceiling is feeling
like i am but higher

crush, lust and fall apart
wires connect my heart
my movie is lonely
if only…

i was perfect
and oh so flawless
‘cause you’re so pristine
i’m not going to pretend
the room’s lighting up when i’m around
i know that it’s not

venus flytrap this tongue
pump water into my lungs
the sun will never set
in 3/4 or regret

colours fade when i’m there
i wont always come up for air
so connect these bruises with glitter
you’re so bitter
my movie casualty
if only..

Revolve Around You

am i breaking up? can you hear my voice?
do you mute your ears and make a choice
to be out of touch
to be out of sight, tonight

it’s the turning point
it’s like you’re a train
i’m the station you wont visit again
it was beautiful
now we’ve lost it all tonight

i think we’re running out of time

but sometimes i miss you
i hate you
then love you
but i won’t revolve around you
but sometimes i’m not fine
you don’t mourn
you wont pine
but i won’t revolve around you

did i cross your lines?
while you avoid mine?
are you happier when you sleep at night?
‘cause i’m not around
‘cause i’m moving out tonight
i think we’re chalking our outline
for the most unperfect crime

i wont be a photograph
i wont be a summer laugh – it’s too late
i wont be your underdog
i wont be the ‘trying half’ – it’s too late

Thin Air

i’m afraid to dial you now
you’re so seasonal
am i just a let down?
i told you it won’t be the same
when my head revolts
and instead thinks of ‘her name’

make me from thin air
give me perfect eyes
and your favourite hair
make me from thin air
give me a perfect smile
maybe then i’d make your grade .. for a little while.

were you waiting for the stars?
centrefolds of us, in both our glossy cars
i made it clear as clear could be
i’m not the boy you saw singing on your tv

the only thing to fall apart was us
the only thing you ever gave was lust
the only thing you never gave was trust
let go!

give me a perfect face
just to make your heart race
give me perfect eyes
so i can watch you sleep
give me a perfect smile
maybe then i’d make your grade
..for a little while

Chasing Rainbows

‘this heart is a frequent flyer now’
is my favourite excuse
those hooks and the lines you always use
won’t keep me around you

find the receipt
of our memories.
who paid the price
to your enemies?
who grovelled back when i had to leave?

you’re chasing rainbows
‘cause i took my colours back
chasing rainbows
for the colours that you lack

close up, i can see your every fault
stole your concealer
don’t cry, all the girls might wonder why
you’re not like the pictures

don’t fade
stay a ‘baby’ blue
you’ll get what’s coming to you

Darling Anxiety

one more pill
and sip of this until
i can forget you
the whole room stares
a thousand eyes that glare
but my friends want me there

i’ll stick around

create a sound
and drown ‘them’ out
closed eyelids and panic fits
would draw a crowd

darling anxiety
you’re restricting everything
darling anxiety
please just let me breathe
please just let me sleep
please just leave me be

i’m a mess
in a sundays best
wire’s hold up my chest
someone said..
‘it’s all in your head’
but i disagree so please..

without you i’m alright
without you i’m just fine

Telephone Lines

my bedposts are my only friends
but i can deal with loneliness
take a downer just to chase the pain away
every soul that i’ve ever met likes the sparks
but then they forget
maybe its amnesia or just the truth?

i just want to press reverse
but i’m so depressed it hurts
cutting myself off
like distorted telephone lines
i just feel unlovable
this is so uncomfortable
i cut myself off
like distorted telephone lines (oh my god)

nothing blossoms like they did
sometimes i wish i was… better
freezing cold fingertips just press undo
city buzz and i palpitate
happiness is a cab that’s late
all the scripted smiles
can’t hide the sadness
all the scripted smiles
wont win awards, i guess

photoshop and shop ‘til you drop
hey mister, won’t you take a shot?
i’m in love, or didn’t you know?
straight faced, but that’s a joke
bright eyes, bright skies
four walls, but dark insides
fuck fuck fuck fuck

Thin Ice

save me from this crushing chest
but it’s so hard to forget
when your tongues are liars
no ‘undo’ button’s left
fiction with every breath
i’m not faceless
but you’re not traceless

dancing on thin ice
you’re just dancing on thin ice
i alone am not an army
but could you really ever harm me?
when you’re dancing on thin ice

crave the headline vacancy
distort the memories
pseudo names protect
put on your sugarcoat
and warm your devils throat
i’m not famous
but you’re not traceless

True Colors are Bleeding

someone stop the clocks
with their own two hands
someone call the shots
but don’t shoot my last friend
i wish i could win

words die in my throat
but i’m not easily led
my avoidance of the heart
leaves full control to the head
but you won’t understand

the true colours of this city
are bleeding on my wrist
a subtle hint is a appearing
tomorrow i’ll be gone.. so long

someone make me up
and lets conceal the lies
someone wrap me up
i must be someone’s prize?
raffle me tonight

pulling these strings
wont turn chords to promises
pulling these strings
just turn chords to emptiness

Until Death Did We Part

now that you’re gone
i don’t know what do to anymore
sitting alone in this dusty old armchair
i wish you were here
where you always wanted
i wish you were here
where you always needed

will i come undone cause you’re not there
holding the strings
will the angels give me the chance
to pack my things?

wait for me
red lights turn green

you’re the only spark
that could make heaven complete
you’re the only match
that can make my fire burn

so either light me up forever or fly me up..
we’ll be together
i just can’t handle long distance
i just cant handle anything
if it’s without you

This is a staging enviroment